I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Question by Betty: I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
We both are entering our late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Meaning: I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Meaning: I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is it he wants?? I’m so confused. Please help!
Just for the record I want a family unit w/him, and if he really did want to get back together I want to.
Best answer:
Answer by no1advice
No lecture but even though you used protection…..WHY….why sleep with your ex? He’s your ex for a reason right?
He’s obviously dating other women but how can he do this an deeply care about you?
As far as you wanting a family unit with him…it takes two.> You can’t do this alone. I have a feeling he will go back and forth with you through the years until you finally wake up and see that you must go on in life without this man. Until then I don’t see you going anywhere with this.
What do you reckon? Answer below!
I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Question by Betty: I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
We both are entering our late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Meaning: I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Meaning: I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is it he wants?? I’m so confused. Please help!
Just for the record I want a family unit w/him, and if he really did want to get back together I want to.
Best answer:
Answer by no1advice
No lecture but even though you used protection…..WHY….why sleep with your ex? He’s your ex for a reason right?
He’s obviously dating other women but how can he do this an deeply care about you?
As far as you wanting a family unit with him…it takes two.> You can’t do this alone. I have a feeling he will go back and forth with you through the years until you finally wake up and see that you must go on in life without this man. Until then I don’t see you going anywhere with this.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Q&A: I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Question by Betty: I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
We both are entering our mid/late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Meaning: I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Meaning: I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is it he wants?? I’m so confused. Please help!
Best answer:
Answer by Pleased-2
There is a problem with the way you communicate, and you provided two examples:
Example 1: “I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Meaning: I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.”
Example 2: “I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Meaning: I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc.”
Rather than saying things to him and making him guess what they mean, you would do well to make your communication more direct. Look him in the eye and tell him exactly what you want, and let him be enough of a man to face up to it, or let him prove he’s enough of a boy to run away from it. Forcing him to guess what you mean is a childish game that does not work well in marriage, so start giving up that communication style now.
What do you reckon? Answer below!
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I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Question by Betty: I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
We both are entering our late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Meaning: I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Meaning: I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is going on?? Please help.
Just for the record I want a family unit w/him, and if he really did want to get back together I want to.
Best answer:
Answer by Cvjed
Most people in this society have it incorrect, they like conditionally, but trust unconditionally. You should do the opposite.
Like him unconditionally…whether or not he’s into commitment, but trust conditionally. Allow him the room/right to change. But trust the deeds, not the words.
To borrow a cliche…let him talk the talk, but watch carefully for him to walk the walk.
Add your own answer in the comments!
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8 mo pregnant w/ex’s baby, has he had a change in heart (No lectures please)?
Question by Betty: 8 mo pregnant w/ex’s baby, has he had a change in heart (No lectures please)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
I want to be with him, but this whole time (thus far,) he has said he’s not ready for a relationship/feels like we’ll end up getting back together. I just need to know what to make of this sudden change in him, do you reckon he finally wants to ge back together? If so, should I be the one to make the 1st go?
We both are entering our mid/late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Because I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Because I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is it he wants?? I’m so confused. Please help!
Best answer:
Answer by lola
It sounds like he wants to do the right thing, but he’s frightened. I hope he’ll snap out of it and man-up because you have a baby coming and that baby deserves to have a mother and father. And you deserve to have the father of your baby with you to help and support you. He should just go for it. You never know until you try, but you’ll always wonder if you don’t.
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I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Question by Betty: I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
We both are entering our mid/late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Because I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Because I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is it he wants?? I’m so confused. Please help!
Best answer:
Answer by Mr.Nobody
As far as i can see, he likes you. Give him a chance and a chance for your baby to be with his/her biological parents. Give “your relationship” a chance. May be, after the baby is born, he’ll feel all those paternal instincts and be more responsible and loving towards both of you.
If you are still confused, try seeking help from a counsellor!
All the best and take care!
cheers 
Add your own answer in the comments!
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Q&A: I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Question by Betty: I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
We both are entering our mid/late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Because I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Because I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is it he wants?? I’m so confused. Please help!
Best answer:
Answer by estrella
did he knew he was getting you pregnant?
What do you reckon? Answer below!
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I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Question by Betty: I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
We both are entering our mid/late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Because I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Because I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is it he wants?? I’m so confused. Please help!
Best answer:
Answer by Dragonfly85
Tell him to answer your question. It’s simple. Yes or no.
Add your own answer in the comments!
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I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Question by Betty: I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
We both are entering our late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Meaning: I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Meaning: I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is it he wants?? I’m so confused. Please help!
Just for the record I want a family unit w/him, and if he really did want to get back together I want to.
Best answer:
Answer by gina
Do what’s best for the baby.
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My mom won’t let me join the Civil Air Patrol?
Question by Aurore: My mom won’t let me join the Civil Air Patrol?
Hi. I am currently 15 years ancient. My family and I went to an airshow at an airforce base two yrs ago, and it had a stand representing the Civil Air Patrol. I had been wanting to join the air force ever since I was about 11.
My dad, an air force veteran, noticed my enthusiasm and encouraged me to join. At age 12, when I was ancient enough, I questioned my mom and she prohobited me from joining because she used to be in the air force too and said it was ‘no place for women.” But this is my passion. She even lied to me and told me thst my dad didn’t want me to do it (even though he was really excited and supportive of me).
My mother is very narotic and my parents fight constantly. Please don’t comment on her, as it would take too long to clarify. trust me. Now, at 15, I have an unstoppable passion to join. I Ordered an information packet, and my dad is right there with me. I AM going to join. How will I handle my dad letting me and my mom not when it comes time to sign up?
There are many benefits: huge scholarships, experience, knowledge, respect, discipline. I want this more than anything.
Best answer:
Answer by rbanzai
You should probably discuss it together. It’s very hard for parents to let their child do something they reckon is incorrect for them. Sometimes the parent is right, sometimes not.
Perhaps with your dad’s help you can find out more about why your mother objects and find some common ground. It would be better than “going over her head” and just doing it anyway.
In the end people must do what they reckon is right for them, but if it can be done without causing rifts in the family, all the better.
Excellent luck to you! I admire your pluck.
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Q&A: Why did McCain pick on this 14 year old girl and why was he staring at her chest?
Question by JamesM: Why did McCain pick on this 14 year ancient girl and why was he staring at her chest?
McCain noticed her shirt, picked on her, and then later called her:
“a very attractive young woman.”
McCain reminds me of a dirty ancient grampa.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lnzqpVWC2-o
McCain says he voted against equal pay for women because legislation does not help women’s rights.
Well the 19th amendment gave women voting rights, the 14th amendment gave equal rights to blacks, and the civil rights acts of the 1960s sure as hell made a difference.
Best answer:
Answer by Kari
He’s nothing but an ancient pervert.
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Should being against gay marriage have cost Miss CA the Miss USA beauty contest?
Question by roccopaperiello: Should being against gay marriage have cost Miss CA the Miss USA beauty contest?
According to the news, the runner-up at the Miss USA beauty pageant says her outspoken opposition to gay marriage cost her first place in the competition.
During the televised event, Carrie Prejean – Miss California – said she believed that “a marriage should be between a man and a woman”.
Ms Prejean, after the competition. She added: “I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman.”
“No offense to anyone out there, but that’s how I was raised.”
The remarks drew a mixture of booing and applause from the audience.
Hilton said he had been “floored” by Ms Prejean’s answer, which, he said, “alienated millions of gay and lesbian Americans, their families and their supporters”.
He told ABC News: “She lost it because of that question. She was certainly the front-runner before that.”
Keith Lewis, who runs the Miss California competition, released a statement condemning Ms Prejean’s comments.
“As co-director of the Miss California USA, I am personally saddened and hurt that Miss California believes marriage rights belong only to a man and a woman.”
===================================================
Now this is what I do not know. I AM gay. I am also married to my same sex pertner. AND I am really in favor of seme-sex marriage being recognized by the government.
But, even I would not have taken away her first place standing on that one question. It was merely an honest opinion. And we should ALL be entitled to our religious views.
Note that she did NOT state anything about passing laws or amendments to curtail anyones civil rights: that might have been different.
What is YOUR opinion? And why?
Please I am not asking for a bunch of Bibler quotes. I am fully aware of them. My question ONLY concerns how this person lost her first place ranking.
JNR: Excellent points. Perhaps her inability to handle a contraversial question was a telling point.
LINA Chan: I suspect i am starting to agree with your view point.
REV RUSTY: Thanks for making me laugh.
WOOLF! I am gay, and MY knickers are not in a twist. In fact, I reckon the question unfair if it was not questioned of the other contestants.
Best answer:
Answer by anarcho the mad
Who says it did cost her? No one can prove that that was the sole reason. It was the judges’ choice, so take it up with them if you don’t like it.
Don’t bother feeling sorry for her – she’s gonna become the next martyr for the anti-gay movement.
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Was federal funding for abortion ever Constitutional?
Question by man_id_unknown: Was federal funding for abortion ever Constitutional?
If the goverment, nor scientists, were and are not certain when a “fetus”, (unborn child) is a “living human”, then should the federal goverment avoid any involment in the topic and procedure? Shouldn’t the goverment have, perhaps, allowed private abortion clinics and refused federal funding, since they were and are not certain when an unborn child is living?
Also, since abortion often and very much offends the religeous, is it Constitutional to force the religious to financialy support a procedure that contradicts their belief? For instance, should Christians be forced to financially support, (through taxes) federal abortions when they are religiously against the procedure?
Isn’t it hypocritical for civil-rights activists, (pro-choicers, feminists) to fervantly defend the “rights of women” while violating the rights of the religious? Shouldn’t these activists be against federal funding of abortions, which violate the rights of the religious?
Best answer:
Answer by da-lux
It is a fantastic question and should be applied to most areas of government spending.
If I am allowed to be free to believe this or that, should I not also be free to support or not support those causes financially as well?
For example, the military. If I am against war and violence, I wish I could inform the government that it may not fund it with my tax dollars. If I support public education, I want to be able to say, all that money goes there, buddy!
Unfortunately, we are funding all sorts of things we don`t agree with and find immoral.
Thanks for the thoughtful question!
Give your answer to this question below!
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Was federal funding for abortion ever Constitutional?
Question by man_id_unknown: Was federal funding for abortion ever Constitutional?
If the goverment, nor scientists, were and are not certain when a “fetus”, (unborn child) is a “living human”, then should the federal goverment avoid any involment in the topic and procedure? Shouldn’t the goverment have, perhaps, allowed private abortion clinics and refused federal funding, since they were and are not certain when an unborn child is living?
Also, since abortion often and very much offends the religeous, is it Constitutional to force the religious to financialy support a procedure that contradicts their belief? For instance, should Christians be forced to financially support, (through taxes) federal abortions when they are religiously against the procedure?
Isn’t it hypocritical for civil-rights activists, (pro-choicers, feminists) to fervantly defend the “rights of women” while violating the rights of the religious? Shouldn’t these activists be against federal funding of abortions, which violate the rights of the religious?
jane l, you have some vast imagination.
Best answer:
Answer by ldylopes
I agree with you, and frankly I don’t know why there is federal funding. What does that constitute? That the government condones abortion? That it is a type of genocide for the poor? I am confused that it is even an issue. The government needs to be there for us on many levels, but this is one that I reckon is much to personal for them to have control over, and make no mistake about it, when you fund something, you have control.
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Some of the things we say here would not get us elected, right?
Question by JusWondering: Some of the things we say here would not get us elected, right?
I just sort of realized how a lot of people over here on Y!A say such negative stuff, far worse than the “typical white woman” comment or “bomb bomb Iran” joke, that if any of us were ever running a campaign and said some of the things we say here during our campaign, we would certainly be pretty much out of the presidential race. Isn’t that amusing? Since the same people saying these negative things on here that would have them out of their race, are also so passionately calling out Obama and McCain for their gaffes? Isn’t that hypocrtical or something? That we blame these candidates for some of the things they say, and then say ever worse things?
Like someone just joked in another post about starting a civil war so that they could go kill some liberals. Isn’t that worse than singing “bomb bomb Iran”? And yet I bet this same person is going about mad about Obama’s “typical white” comment. Shouldn’t we look in the mirror a bit?
Best answer:
Answer by Stellar
yeah I agree. people only say certain things here because they get to hide behind a computer.
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The Rights of Women: The Authoritative ACLU Guide to Women’s Rights, Fourth Edition (American Civil Liberties Union Handbook) Reviews
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do i ever win? even now she’s bested me?
Question by girlygirl: do i ever win? even now she’s bested me?
i know i shouldn’t feel like i am in competition with my ex’s new wife, but i do. he and i got married young because i finished up pregnant, but we divorced when we realized that the marriage was just out of convenience. still, i felt jipped of something that was mine when he left. well, about a year later he was reunited with a close friend from his past who is now his wife. i still spent alot of time with his family since they lived close by and were helping me financially with my son (yes, he pays child support too), and i met her at thanksgiving a few months after they got engaged and went in together. she had already been around my son and my ex MIL assured me that she was wonderful with him, so i didn’t feel the need to pry. well, it was a huge shot to my ego when i saw her. i have always struggled with weight and appearance in my life, and she was that stereotypical “new woman” who was younger (same age as my ex, who’s 5 years younger than me), shorter (i am really tall for a woman), thinner, had larger boobs (all natural according to his mom), had a gorgeous face, and smiled more than anyone i have ever known. i spent the entire night wishing she would show some terrible side like a b*tchy attitude or lack of intelligence, but she was just so genuinely nice and really smart (but not in your face about it). well it still secretly urks me when i drop my son off with them because they look so pleased together no matter what (i have seen them have disagreements, and there is no fighting, just talking it out) and he and i argued all the time (she really led to the end of this because she convinced my ex to see my side of the divorce and have sympathy with what i am going through, which led to a very civil relationship). and she just had their first baby (a boy too), which highlighted even more of what made her better than me in my eyes. she stayed tiny her whole pregnancy (but her belly got HUGE since she was so tiny already) but was apparently eating normal and healthy the whole time, whereas i was already huge and just became a whale when i was pregnant. their baby was plotted and they had a fantastic support system the whole time, whereas he left for the marines to make enough money for us while i was pregnant and i had very few people to turn to in my pregnancy. my baby was born premature and had breathing and eating distress (i am ashamed to say i smoked the entire pregnancy despite his pleas for me to stop), and her baby can right on schedule (she had to have a c-section due to a genetic problem with her digestive system that labor would have made worse) and was the perfect picture of health. the topper on all of this, and the part that makes me feel the most guilty to reckon, is that her son is so much prettier than mine. obviously i like my son and reckon he is gorgeous, but to be perfectly honest with my thoughts (and what seems to be everyone else’s thought too) is that her baby is so perfect and gorgeous. i know this is so incorrect of me to feel and reckon, but let me pour my selfish side out and question will i ever win? how does she keep outdoing me? btw, i am remarried to my high school like so it’s not some overhanging like of my ex that fuels this.
Best answer:
Answer by CHICKA
Become pleased with yourself. There is and never was a competition with you and her. If you feel there is, why not change you. Look up to her and start putting to practice all the nice things you like about her, and make them apart of your life.
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Q&A: DO TEXAN REPUBLICANS PISS YOU OFF AS MUCH AS THEY DO ME?
Question by noah: DO TEXAN REPUBLICANS PISS YOU OFF AS MUCH AS THEY DO ME?
Read their awesome new platform! Here’s what they reckon about LGBT…
Officially adopting American English as the language of Texas.
Severing relations with the United Nations, including removing all American financial and military ties.
Defining marriage as a “God-ordained, legal and moral commitment only between a ‘natural’ man and a ‘natural’ woman.”
Opposing all criminal or civil penalties against anti-gay activists and any actions they make take to “oppose homosexuality out of faith, conviction, or belief in traditional values.”
Banning sodomy and demanding that Congress “withhold jurisdiction from the federal courts from cases involving sodomy.”
GOD THEY ARE SO ANNOYING AND IGNORANT. I am so pissed right now. I live in Texas. a;sdlfkjasd;flkj
Oh I didn’t really realize I posted the first two… I’m not sure how I feel about the first two… but the others I am completely against.
Best answer:
Answer by RockeR
yes its annoying !
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8 mo pregnant w/ex’s baby, has he had a change in heart (No lectures please)?
Question by Betty: 8 mo pregnant w/ex’s baby, has he had a change in heart (No lectures please)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
I want to be with him, but this whole time (thus far,) he has said he’s not ready for a relationship/feels like we’ll end up getting back together. I just need to know what to make of this sudden change in him, do you reckon he finally wants to ge back together? If so, should I be the one to make the 1st go?
We both are entering our mid/late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Because I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Because I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is it he wants?? I’m so confused. Please help!
Best answer:
Answer by xBeautifulxTearsX
the fact you are preg with his kid scares him to death. plain and simple. it is generally the same across the board with guys when they find their girl is carrying their kid. my fiance was really frightened but at the same time we both were plotting for it. he wants to make a commitment to you and his child obviously. he is making an effort to befriend your father. huge sign he does want you in his life. as you said he is maturing. don’t officially get back together but do spend time with him before the child is born. see how he acts towards you. after the child is born see if he still acts the same towards you or wants nothing to do with you. if he is ready for commitment let him make the go to do so. if not then let him stay in the childs life and go on with yours to see other people. or jsut straight up question him if he wants you two to be together. but be aware that couples that stay together “for the sake of the kids” usually are not pleased. not saying there are couples like that who are pleased but it is rare in what i have seen. excellent luck with your situation and i wish the best for you as well as your child!
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8 mo preggo w/ex’s baby, has he had a change in heart (No lectures please)?
Question by Betty: 8 mo preggo w/ex’s baby, has he had a change in heart (No lectures please)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
I want to be with him, but this whole time (thus far,) he has said he’s not ready for a relationship/feels like we’ll end up getting back together. I just need to know what to make of this sudden change in him, do you reckon he finally wants to ge back together? If so, should I be the one to make the 1st go?
We both are entering our mid/late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Because I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Because I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is it he wants?? I’m so confused. Please help!
Best answer:
Answer by Oceanwhisper
For starters I’m a small confused too I reckon that he wants to try and be a father and part of your family but he is unsure of his relationship with you. Perhaps accepting his doubt and coming to terms with it is a solution. Don’t demand black & white answers. He seems to be a very down to earth and pragmatic person. If he is willing to try and you are too, then go for it. In the end it’s pure honesty because no one knows how relationships end up or evolve. So you have to go forward even though it is uncertain. Be appreciative of his efforts and involvement. He seems ready to be a excellent father, but if it is a lover you are looking for, perhaps you need to look somewhere else or perhaps in time your like for each other will grow. In any case, lots of communication and exchanging expectations is certainly a excellent thing. Hope this is somewhat helpful, it is a tough situation. Wish you all the best xoxo
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When and Where I Enter Reviews
When and Where I Enter
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I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Question by Betty: I’m pregnant w/my ex’s baby, is he looking to get back together (no lectures)?
Just to start, we used protection responsibly, it just failed us 8 months ago.
We both are entering our mid/late 20’s. We’ve been on/off for nearly 3 yrs (broken up twice.) Off bc he says I’m “basically his first gf & he hasn’t met/dated many women.” We both still have feelings for one another but I know he’s not ready for a relationship/marriage, and I am, or atleast he wasn’t (so he says.)
Lately he’s been talking like we’re a family & doesn’t want us to have 2 separate homes & shuffle baby back/forth. Or to see me w/another guy & vise/versa. He doesn’t want baby to have a step-dad or step-mom. How does that work if he doesn’t want us to be together?
He was on my computer the other day. Later, when I went to use it I see he left open his yahoo! answers account. It had numerous questions he’d questioned about getting back together w/me.
I swear I did not go looking for it. All of them were already on my screen! It took me a moment to even realize what I was looking at. Point is, he’s questioned over & over again whether he should get back together w/me. He questioned even before I was pregnant, but more so since. He questioned about marriage. Like, can you know it’s the right one w/out much experience.
Lately he’s been wanting to do all these things with me; family functions, holidays, trading xmas gifts w/my parents, & a couple special outings. Also, he’s been real concerned about appeasing my dad and trying to build a relationship w/him. Saying things like, “I really don’t want to disrespect your dad’s wishes,”,”I really don’t want to give your dad a terrible gift.” He never before really cared, just in the last couple months.
Recently I realized It’s too hard on me to hope he’ll snap out of his commitment phobia. So I sat down with him to say I don’t want to get back together bc we want 2 different things, we are too different. Because I want to settle down, have romance, a family, and family vacations.
He said we weren’t too different & he wanted that too, and that family vacations together sounds really nice.
I went on to say I wanted him to be something he’s not & that’s not honest. Because I want a guy who’s not worried to settle down, have a family, etc. He got really depressed and said he was so sad he couldn’t even talk.
Since then, I’ve noticed him changing/maturing, now doing those things I had said I wanted. All of a sudden he really cares what my dad thinks of him/wants his approval. The other day he questioned me if I wanted to take a road trip w/him to this far away place & go cliff jumping…after baby is born. He wanted to go in April. Why would he question that? Especially not too far after baby is born.
Last night I spoke to him about what I read. Bc it’s been really hard to be anything but civil towards him after reading his questions. He questioned me repeatedly what was incorrect. The jist of the conversation: him really caring what was incorrect/despised to see me upset, said he’s been confused for so long, wants to protect me, wants to treat me like his gf (not exact words,) is having a hard time committing..it’s really scary, has been holding back (deliberately not doing doing what he wants to w/for me,) as not to mess w/my emotions, hasn’t dated anyone since we’ve met, feels guilty even thinking about dating anyone, always thinks of me 1st when wanting to do anything, really enjoys spending time w/me, deeply cares about me, doesn’t know how to interpret the feelings he has for me, despises to see me upset..it makes him hurt to see/know I am, and has always felt so pleased that I’m the mom of his child. Etc., etc. Yet he still didn’t say he wanted/did not want to get back together. Said it’s not so black and white.
What is it he wants?? I’m so confused. Please help!
Best answer:
Answer by bigboodybenz2007
why don’t you sit him down and question him what it is that he wants because you don’t want to jump to conclusion. And go from there.
What do you reckon? Answer below!
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Q&A: Why did Carly Fiorina LIE about President Obama’s position on DOMA and Prop 8?
Question by Lois Griffin: Why did Carly Fiorina LIE about President Obama’s position on DOMA and Prop 8?
During the debate earlier this week, Fiorina was questioned a specific question about DOMA.
Moderator: [Ms.] Fiorina, you supported and say that marriage should be only between one man and one woman. Domestic partnerships and civil unions are not recognized by the federal government. And this means that gay and lesbian couples are denied thousands of rights that heterosexual couples get, like benefits from Social Security. Should federal law be be changed to federal equal status? If not, why not?
Her response:
I believe marriage is between a man and a woman. But I also have been simple and clear: I support civil unions. The Defense of Marriage Act had broad Bi-Partisan support. Also, the position I have consistently espoused is consistent with that of our president and the vast majority of senators in the U.S. Senate. I reckon what we now are seeing on Proposition 8 is that the voters were quite clear about their views on this.
http://www.advocate.com/News/Daily_News/2010/09/02/Boxer_and_Fiorina_Debate_Marriage_Equality/
Ok………the question was specifically about DOMA…………
but her answer kind of included a broad range of issues relating to gay rights……
and she compared herself to PRESIDENT OBAMA.
ok……
Fiorina claims her position is consistent with the position of President Obama.
Reality Check: It’s Not.
-Obama OPPOSES DOMA. He believes DOMA should be REPEALED.
-Obama believes gay marriage should be left to the STATES.
-Obama publicly stated OPPOSITION to Proposition 8 in California.
http://www.queerty.com/obama-prop-8-unnecessary-but-doesnt-believe-in-gay-marriage-20081103/
Carly Fiorina, who SUPPORTS both DOMA and Prop 8,
is claiming she has the SAME position, as President Obama.
Obama might have this thing where he says “I personally believe marriage is between a man and a woman”
but his position is not the least bit consistent with Fiorina’s.
Best answer:
Answer by The BoogeyMan
She’s not lying. Obama has said in the past that he is against gay marriage
What do you reckon? Answer below!
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What is wrong with Homosexual Marriage?
Question by Jason: What is incorrect with Homosexual Marriage?
I am using the term Homosexual rather then Gay, because the term Gay is used far too much to describe any number of things.
So what is incorrect with two people of the same sex getting married. Why should the be “pleased with a civil partnership” as some people on here seem to suggest. Why cant two people of the same sex have the same right to marriage as people of the opposite sex. Do you all reckon that it is so meaningless that those people getting married wouldn’t want it to be the most special day of their lives simply because they are of the same sex.
Why do so many people complain about it saying “I would one day be horrified to be questioned husband or wife” as one person answered in another question wrote by someone else. Why do so many people take offense at it. Do all of these people reckon that people of the same sex can not like each other as much as people of the opposite sex?
There is so many people who claim it is incorrect because of their religious belief. Well I say to you, it was once a religious belief that “The man is the head of the woman” this line was used over and over again by religious courts who persecuted women and stole their property as death duty for their dead husbands leaving the woman homeless hungry and cold all because “The man is the head of the woman.” So all you people who claim Homosexual marriage is incorrect because God forbids it – what do you reckon of the man been the head of the woman and the whole agenda of female oppression that took place at the hands of religion. Do you also agree with that?
What is the real reason people are against Homosexual Marriage? Not the religious reasons, not the so called social reason, but the real reason?
Will, you have not answed the question at all. You claim marriage should only be between a man and a woman/woman and a man. Well why is that, you have made a statement but you have not given a reason as to why the statement is right.
Mike you are a discrace to human kind my friend.
And why does everyone reckon that Homosexual people only want to get married for the benifits of marriage. Why is it not possible that they want to get married because they like each other and want everyone to know it. Just like a man and a woman
Adorable:
Although I do not have the same views as you, I commend you for your views. The fact that you can hold your own views and still accept those of others shows that you are indeed a truly wonderful person and one I wish I could get to know better.
Best answer:
Answer by Jerry
There isn’t. It is just different, and different is, apparently, terrible. It’s another way for people to discriminate against one another.
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American Journey/V. Civil Rights and the Women’s Movement (Instrumental)
American Journey/V. Civil Rights and the Women’s Movement (Instrumental)
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