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My boyfriend/father of my child broke my trust, what should I do?
Question by Bella B: My boyfriend/father of my child broke my trust, what should I do?
I have a serious problem and need advice on it.
Let me start by saying my boyfriend isn’t one to watch porn and get a hard on by it. From the beginning of our relationship he has said he doesn’t even like porn and doesn’t watch it. With that said, awhile back he (who is the father of my child and was the like of my life) looked up porn pictures and I found his searches on his phone. I was really upset because this was a huge no no in our relationship and he broke my trust. He was SO apologetic and I did forgive him (since he said he wasn’t attracted to them or anything, he was just curious). I told him if he did that again our relationship would be over and our family would be ripped apart. He promised not to do it again.
A couple days ago I found ALOT of searches for well-known women nude (and others) on his phone. When confronted he got VERY upset with me and told me he will do whatever he wants when he wants. He continued to start a fight with me and basically used reverse psychology on me like I did something incorrect. He did say he was just curious again but that’s pretty much it. He wouldn’t talk about it anymore and just told me to get the fuck away from him when I tried askin him questions about it. Now our whole relationship is on the rocks. He’s acting really different and even saying he doesn’t know if he’s in like with me or not (keep in mind he is one of those guys that says whatever he needs to get me away from him when he’s upset, and I have a huge problem going away because I like to fix things). He says he’s not sorry this time. Maybe he’s embarrassed?
I’m so torn on what to do. I know alot of people are probably going to read this and reckon “this girl is worried about some nude photos? wow she needs to get a life” but it’s not just about looking at other women, it’s about trust. He broke my trust and I would have had no thought he even did it if I hadn’t happened to open his internet on his phone. I feel like I don’t know this person and he’s just pretending to like me. Everything was so excellent between us before I found out. Now I feel like my world has been turned upside down and my heart is broken. It makes me feel less gorgeous and like I’m not excellent enough for him. Even though I’m pretty sure he wasn’t looking at them to fantasize about them, I’m still so hurt by the betrayal. He’s never lied to me before this (that I know of) and I don’t know what to do. Why would he look if he didn’t find them attractive? Does curiousity really work like that?
I told him if he did it again I would leave him and now I don’t know what to do. He knew that’s what would happen if he did so I’m assuming our relationship really didn’t mean that much to him in the first place. In my opinion it shouldn’t be that hard to not look at other women if a) you aren’t attracted to them and b) your relationship was on the line
Help?
Our sex life was excellent. Really, he has a really low sex drive and can’t keep up with me (LOL).
He doesn’t jerk off to porn. He doesn’t even get a hard on. In fact, if someone turns a porn on he walks out of the room because he doesn’t like it.
He says he’s not attracted to any of the girls he looks up. I’m not saying he doesn’t reckon they are cute because of course there are excellent looking women in the world. He tells me that he prefers my looks to theirs (which I believed but maybe I’m just an idiot).
Best answer:
Answer by usmcfiance
Look all guys are attracted to porn…some do it to get off by it, others do it for educational purposes, others just for the entertainment of it…but its just a normal thing..im pretty sure that he is curious but is worried to admit it because of what you will reckon…since he knows that n your opinion its a huge no no he is worried of your reaction…my suggestion to you s to be a bit more open minded and comprehensive.. just remember that boys will be boys.
Add your own answer in the comments!
My boyfriend/father of my child broke my trust, what should I do?
Question by Bella B: My boyfriend/father of my child broke my trust, what should I do?
I have a serious problem and need advice on it.
Let me start by saying my boyfriend isn’t one to watch porn and get a hard on by it. From the beginning of our relationship he has said he doesn’t even like porn and doesn’t watch it. With that said, awhile back he (who is the father of my child and was the like of my life) looked up porn pictures and I found his searches on his phone. I was really upset because this was a huge no no in our relationship and he broke my trust. He was SO apologetic and I did forgive him (since he said he wasn’t attracted to them or anything, he was just curious). I told him if he did that again our relationship would be over and our family would be ripped apart. He promised not to do it again.
A couple days ago I found ALOT of searches for well-known women nude (and others) on his phone. When confronted he got VERY upset with me and told me he will do whatever he wants when he wants. He continued to start a fight with me and basically used reverse psychology on me like I did something incorrect. He did say he was just curious again but that’s pretty much it. He wouldn’t talk about it anymore and just told me to get the fuck away from him when I tried askin him questions about it. Now our whole relationship is on the rocks. He’s acting really different and even saying he doesn’t know if he’s in like with me or not (keep in mind he is one of those guys that says whatever he needs to get me away from him when he’s upset, and I have a huge problem going away because I like to fix things). He says he’s not sorry this time. Maybe he’s embarrassed?
I’m so torn on what to do. I know alot of people are probably going to read this and reckon “this girl is worried about some nude photos? wow she needs to get a life” but it’s not just about looking at other women, it’s about trust. He broke my trust and I would have had no thought he even did it if I hadn’t happened to open his internet on his phone. I feel like I don’t know this person and he’s just pretending to like me. Everything was so excellent between us before I found out. Now I feel like my world has been turned upside down and my heart is broken. It makes me feel less gorgeous and like I’m not excellent enough for him. Even though I’m pretty sure he wasn’t looking at them to fantasize about them, I’m still so hurt by the betrayal. He’s never lied to me before this (that I know of) and I don’t know what to do. Why would he look if he didn’t find them attractive? Does curiousity really work like that?
I told him if he did it again I would leave him and now I don’t know what to do. He knew that’s what would happen if he did so I’m assuming our relationship really didn’t mean that much to him in the first place. In my opinion it shouldn’t be that hard to not look at other women if a) you aren’t attracted to them and b) your relationship was on the line
Help?
Our sex life was excellent. Really, he has a really low sex drive and can’t keep up with me (LOL).
He doesn’t jerk off to porn. He doesn’t even get a hard on. In fact, if someone turns a porn on he walks out of the room because he doesn’t like it.
He says he’s not attracted to any of the girls he looks up. I’m not saying he doesn’t reckon they are cute because of course there are excellent looking women in the world. He tells me that he prefers my looks to theirs (which I believed but maybe I’m just an idiot).
Best answer:
Answer by usmcfiance
Look all guys are attracted to porn…some do it to get off by it, others do it for educational purposes, others just for the entertainment of it…but its just a normal thing..im pretty sure that he is curious but is worried to admit it because of what you will reckon…since he knows that n your opinion its a huge no no he is worried of your reaction…my suggestion to you s to be a bit more open minded and comprehensive.. just remember that boys will be boys.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
My boyfriend/father of my child broke my trust, what should I do?
Question by Bella B: My boyfriend/father of my child broke my trust, what should I do?
I have a serious problem and need advice on it.
Let me start by saying my boyfriend isn’t one to watch porn and get a hard on by it. From the beginning of our relationship he has said he doesn’t even like porn and doesn’t watch it. With that said, awhile back he (who is the father of my child and was the like of my life) looked up porn pictures and I found his searches on his phone. I was really upset because this was a huge no no in our relationship and he broke my trust. He was SO apologetic and I did forgive him (since he said he wasn’t attracted to them or anything, he was just curious). I told him if he did that again our relationship would be over and our family would be ripped apart. He promised not to do it again.
A couple days ago I found ALOT of searches for well-known women nude (and others) on his phone. When confronted he got VERY upset with me and told me he will do whatever he wants when he wants. He continued to start a fight with me and basically used reverse psychology on me like I did something incorrect. He did say he was just curious again but that’s pretty much it. He wouldn’t talk about it anymore and just told me to get the fuck away from him when I tried askin him questions about it. Now our whole relationship is on the rocks. He’s acting really different and even saying he doesn’t know if he’s in like with me or not (keep in mind he is one of those guys that says whatever he needs to get me away from him when he’s upset, and I have a huge problem going away because I like to fix things). He says he’s not sorry this time. Maybe he’s embarrassed?
I’m so torn on what to do. I know alot of people are probably going to read this and reckon “this girl is worried about some nude photos? wow she needs to get a life” but it’s not just about looking at other women, it’s about trust. He broke my trust and I would have had no thought he even did it if I hadn’t happened to open his internet on his phone. I feel like I don’t know this person and he’s just pretending to like me. Everything was so excellent between us before I found out. Now I feel like my world has been turned upside down and my heart is broken. It makes me feel less gorgeous and like I’m not excellent enough for him. Even though I’m pretty sure he wasn’t looking at them to fantasize about them, I’m still so hurt by the betrayal. He’s never lied to me before this (that I know of) and I don’t know what to do. Why would he look if he didn’t find them attractive? Does curiousity really work like that?
I told him if he did it again I would leave him and now I don’t know what to do. He knew that’s what would happen if he did so I’m assuming our relationship really didn’t mean that much to him in the first place. In my opinion it shouldn’t be that hard to not look at other women if a) you aren’t attracted to them and b) your relationship was on the line
Help?
Our sex life was excellent. Really, he has a really low sex drive and can’t keep up with me (LOL).
He doesn’t jerk off to porn. He doesn’t even get a hard on. In fact, if someone turns a porn on he walks out of the room because he doesn’t like it.
He says he’s not attracted to any of the girls he looks up. I’m not saying he doesn’t reckon they are cute because of course there are excellent looking women in the world. He tells me that he prefers my looks to theirs (which I believed but maybe I’m just an idiot).
Best answer:
Answer by usmcfiance
Look all guys are attracted to porn…some do it to get off by it, others do it for educational purposes, others just for the entertainment of it…but its just a normal thing..im pretty sure that he is curious but is worried to admit it because of what you will reckon…since he knows that n your opinion its a huge no no he is worried of your reaction…my suggestion to you s to be a bit more open minded and comprehensive.. just remember that boys will be boys.
Know better? Leave your own answer in the comments!
Am I gay? A question from a male that likes girls..?
Question by CC: Am I gay? A question from a male that likes girls..?
I’ve been pretty bothered this past year about whether or not I am straight, gay, or bi, that I was hoping people could distinguish. I am 19, male, and I will admit, very confused by what society has sort of thrown out for me. I AM attracted to women, but for some reason, I always just wonder to myself, “could I possibly be gay?”
At 19, I have unfortunately never had a girlfriend, and have had three male best friends my entire life. Two of the three are straight for sure, and we frequently talk about girls, while the third, just recently, told me he was gay. I spent a lot of time since we were kids, hanging out with the guy who admitted he was gay, and I was apparently the first male he told that he was gay. I am one of the most indecisive people ever, and for some reason, it just made me reckon… “am I gay?”.
I just want to say again, I have always been attracted to women, I do and like watching straight porn, and I have not ever been attracted to males physically. But, I have this weird psychology now where I keep questioning myself about whether or not I am gay. I feel like I have this weird problem where me not ever having a real girlfriend before, questions me, and the recent coming out of one of my best friends just shocks me.
This isn’t frequent, nor large in numbers, but I can recall at least two times in my life where I’ve had a gay dream. And by gay, I don’t really mean gay sex or something, but there was a situation where I was questioned about whether or not I was gay. In my most recent dream, I remember the other person saying I could “try being gay.” And honestly, I have no thought what that means.
I will admit I am slightly homophobic, though not to a point where I would strip away rights or something, I believe in equality. I would just say I am uncomfortable around gay people in certain situations. I tried researching online about whether or not I might be gay, but honestly, that is simply childish and just probably further messes with my mind, so I figured I’d just do it all at once. I know that no one here is a shrink, and this is a very long read, but I was just hoping that maybe writing this out would help relieve me of this randomness and maybe get some serious responses. I like the anonymity of the internet. Thanks for your time if you read this.
Best answer:
Answer by Kenna
if your homophobic your most likely not gay sweety… but you may be bi i guess.
Add your own answer in the comments!
How do you deal with anxiety?
Question by Amerikanz.com: How do you deal with anxiety?
I tried thinking, where I tell myself that there is nothing to be nervous about. But every time I tried to do this, I lost to the anxiety!
For ex.
Clubbing right? I say “approach a lot women, better odds. Rejection? Won’t kill you, you’ll live.” What happends is that I start to reckon too much. And before you know it, 10 minutes pass by, then 20 then 30. And I leave. While I tried to use thinking to defeat anxiety, anxiety used thinking to defeat me.
On other days, I say “Screw anxiety, screw thinking.” I just approach. I get rejected sometimes, but I also dance with many women. Many more than if I hadn’t approached any to start with!
I guess the point is that, for me cognitive psychology does not work. I deal with it by behavior psychology. Take the action first, then worry about the consequences later. Once I break the ice, approach that first lady, I’m really all right lol. Once I go to work, after the first hour, I’m fine. It’s just taking that first step, where behavioral psychology helps a ton with, that I need to take.
How about you? If, or whenever you have anxiety (any kind) how do you deal with it?
Thx for sharing that awesome way of dealing with anxiety. Believe it or not, I did use it once, just a small differently. I liked this girl, she was a store clerk. I was nervous, but said to myself “hey, all of this, what I do today, will not matter in the end.” Really, that day is a faint memory now… imagine it years from now… I guess, your method facilitates taking the action that causes the anxiety.
Best answer:
Answer by ♥Oatmeal is excellent for you.
There is a very simple way to control anxiety and I will share it with you, all you have to do is remember this.
Whenever you are feeling nervous you need to remind yourself this is your life. You are living your life in this moment. Each moment is here and gone for eternity. Look at all the people you see when you are feeling nervous. Remind yourself they are living their lives as well. Breathe. Smile.
Say this: “I am witnessing moments of these people’s lives, one day everyone here will be dead, as will I. I need to live in this moment and appreciate everyone I see. There is nothing to be worried of.”
You might delight in this:http://timelessmiracles.com/LightGuide/like.htm
Peace and like 
Give your answer to this question below!
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