Theory and Techniques of Feminist Therapy

Theory and Techniques of Feminist Therapy

Abstract
Feminist Therapy focuses on empowering women and helping them learn how to break the stereotypes and molds of some traditional roles that women play that may be blocking their development and growth. This type of therapy grew out of influences of the women’s movement of the late 1960’s. Feminist therapy tends to be more focused on strengthening women in areas such as assertiveness, communication, relationships, and self esteem. One of the main goals of feminist therapists is to develop equal mutual relationships of caring and support. The therapist believes that her client is the only “expert” in her own issues and will help her develop the tools needed to reach her potential as a unique and valuable individual. There are six main tenets of feminist therapy theory with five main principles. It is vital to realize that feminist therapy is not just for women but men can benefit as well. Furthermore, there is a notion in feminist therapy that “personal is political”. This notion means that personal experiences are embedded in political situations, contexts, and realities.

Feminist Therapy
Feminist psychology grew from the influences of the women’s movement of the 1960’s. This movement was a grassroots one; therefore, no one particular theorist can be named the originator of feminist therapy. Feminists tried to keep elements of other psychological theories that worked but attempted to get rid of sexist aspects of the theories. They then tried to clarify some of the common experiences and difficulties associated with the social roles that women endure that may be blocking their growth and development. The focus is mainly on helping women in areas such as assertiveness, communication, self-esteem, and relationships. Feminist therapy also focuses on empowering women by helping them see the impact of gender issues. The aim of therapy is change rather then adjustment. It is vital to acknowledge sex roles, minority status and socialization in society as possible sources or causes of psychological difficulties. A core concept is equality; therefore, the therapist is seen as equal in the relationship with an outside perspective who provides guidance and new information but the client is seen as having the power to make his or her own desired outcome in themselves and their lives. Reclaiming personal power is a key concept. A task of the therapist is to help individuals explore and know what is causing dysfunction and unhappiness and then to help develop strategies to overcome these difficulties…

Feminist therapy is not just suitable for women, men can benefit from this therapeutic process as well. Men also deal with social and gender role constraints such as the demands of strength, autonomy, and competition. In addition, they are limited by the notion that they should not express vulnerability, sensitivity, and empathy. Both men and women are exploited by a patriarchal society and limited culture and gender stereotypes. Men can benefit from therapy by working on these issues and by learning new skills to help them know and explore issues involved with emotions, intimacy, and self-disclosure.

There are four main philosophies of feminists with differing goals in therapy including socialist, radical, cultural, and liberal. First, socialist feminists emphasize the need for change in institutional and social relationships. Next, radical feminists focus on the need for change in gender relations and societal institutions. In addition, they strive to increase women’s self awareness in regards to her sexuality and her desires and views for having children. Subsequently, cultural feminists emphasize the importance of the recognition that women are devalued in society and how detrimental this is. Finally, liberal feminists focus on the individual and the biases these people face in regards to self awareness, self-respect, esteem, and equality. Many thoughts and views held by these philosophies overlap and are integrated with the main focus on equality.

There are four major approaches that are unique to feminist therapy which include consciousness-raising, social and gender role analysis, resocialization, and social activism.

Consciousness-raising is sometimes held in small groups in a leaderless manner involving the discussion of women’s individual and shared experiences. Women in these groups do not have to feel that they are alone and they could listen and support others. These individuals examine how oppression and socialization contributes to personal distress and dysfunction and they talk about ways in which solutions for making individual and social changes can be made. Consciousness-raising helps women feel more powerful to take steps against oppression by participating in social action.

Social and gender role analysis involves the evaluation of the client’s psychological distress and methods of coping. First clients will learn about the impact and affects of social and cultural norms and expectations and how negatively these issues affect society. This helps the client become aware and identify his or her own experiences in regards to social and gender role norms. The therapist helps the individual become aware of both implicit and explicit sex roles that the client may have experienced over his or her lifetime. This helps the client explore possible origins of psychological distress. Together the therapist and the client come up with ways to implement change and gain self knowledge.

Resocialization follows social and gender role analysis and involves reorganizing the client’s belief system. They learn to view things differently and they develop new coping skills and strategies. Methods are taught that increase self esteem, assertiveness, and self views. A main goal of resocialization is an overall increase in well being.

Social activism is rather controversial and not practiced by all therapists. It is embedded in the notion that “personal is political”, which is one of the basic tenets of feminist therapy. This means that there are underlying roots of client’s problems that stem from society and politics. Feminist therapy should not only help the individual but it should help all individuals. Social activism may involve participation by both the therapist and the client. This can be accomplished by speaking out, organized protests, and letter writing campaigns. Feminists agree that social change is crucial and advantageous to the mental health of all individuals.

According to Gerald Corey, feminist therapy is based on five interrelated principles:
1.The personal is political which implements social change.
2.The counseling relationship is egalitarian which encourages equality between the therapist and the client. The client should be aware that she has the power to change and define herself and the therapist is only a tool with new insight and information.
3.Women’s experiences are honored and they should get in touch with their personal experiences and intuition.
4.Definitions of distress and mental illness are reformulated involving the internal as well as external factors of distress. Pain and resistance are viewed as a positive confirmation of the desire to live and overcome distress rather than being viewed as weak.
5.Feminist therapists use an integrated analysis of oppression which means that they know that both men and women are subjected to oppression and stereotypes and that these oppressive experiences have a profound affect on beliefs and perceptions.

These core principles set the basis for feminist therapeutic practice and it is vital to acknowledge that these principles contain overlap and interrelated common ground. Additionally, Lenore Walker indicates that there are six tenets of feminist therapy theory:

1.Egalitarian relationships: this equal relationship between client and therapist models for women personal responsibility and assertiveness in other relationships.
2.Power: women are taught to gain and use power in relationships and the possible consequences of their actions.
3.Enhancement of women’s strengths: so much of traditional therapy focused on a woman’s shortcomings and weaknesses that feminist therapists teach women to look for their own strengths and use them effectively.
4.Non-pathology oriented and non-victim blaming: the medical model is rejected and women’s problems are seen as coping mechanisms and viewed in their social context.
5.Education: women are taught to recognize their cognitions that are detrimental and encouraged to educate themselves for the benefit of all women.
6.Acceptance and validation of feelings: feminist therapists value self-disclosure and attempt to remove the we-they barrier of traditional therapeutic relationships.

Feminist therapy is beneficial and needed for several reasons. The main goal is change, not just change within the individual but change in society. Gender issues need to be addressed because they can cause psychological distress and shape unwanted behavior. Our lives are affected and influenced by the stigmas and stereotypes associated with these internal and environmental pressures which can affect one’s identity. Feminist therapy recognizes this and implements these concerns in practice. Furthermore, women live in a world dominated by males and masculine patterns of thought and behavior. Until recently, psychological studies of human behavior were nearly always conducted by men and on men. The results of these studies were generalized to apply to women equally. The results are biased for several reasons including the fact that men and women are not the same. They have developed differently from early childhood and they tend to view the world in different ways. The media gives young children strong gender biased messages. Boys are supposed to be independent, self sufficient, dominant, aggressive, and successful. Girls are sweet, well behaved, passive, submissive, overemotional, and attractive. There is a conflicting problem here because the same traits that are considered appropriate for small girls are considered negative and inappropriate as mature adults. Males tend to view the world in terms of competition and power, while females look at aspects of the world through relationships and connections to others. Therefore, these studies and techniques may not represent women very well.

Women’s natural gifts of being nurturing and caring do not hold much power and value in society according to our social norms. These views and norms prevent women from feeling a sense of strength and power. These characteristics should not be viewed as weaknesses yet society sees it this way. Women should be commended for all he roles that they play. It is hard to juggle a family with children and a career, then come home and do housework and errands. As society becomes more of a dual income earning community some of these issues may turn in a more positive direction. Men do not have it simple either. If a man were to stay home and raise the children and tend to the household needs, society may call him bone idle or worthless. Feminist therapists recognize how these factors and they know how much relationships, connections, and nurturance plays a huge role in individual’s lives. They consider sex bias in a male dominated society and they honor women’s experiences and instincts as being valid. Feminist therapists specifically address issues such as family and marriage relations, reproduction, career concerns, physical and sexual abuse, body image disorders, and self esteem. One of the most vital concerns of a feminist therapist is the empowerment of women in today’s world. Bohan (1992) states six guidelines for feminist practitioners to follow:

1.Therapists are knowledgeable concerning gender role socialization and the impact these standards have on what it means to be a woman or a man.
2.Therapists are aware of the impact of the distribution of power within the family and power differentials between men and women in terms of choice making, child rearing, career options, and division of labor.
3.Therapists know the sexist context of the social system and its impacts on both the individual and the family.
4.Therapists are committed to promoting roles for both women and men that are not limited by cultural or gender stereotypes.
5.Therapists buy intervention skills that help clients in their gender role journey.
6.Therapists are committed to work toward the elimination of gender role bias as a source of pathology in all societal institutions.
These principles are based on a gender honest ideology for counseling which may be applied to family therapists as well.  These principles also apply to both individual and group therapy. The fact that many principles of feminist therapy can be incorporated into other therapies is a strength because it can broaden the theoretical base of other models and therapies. Feminist therapy aims at enriching and enlightening everyone’s lives by hopefully encouraging social activism in a positive direction.

There are some criticisms and limitations to feminist therapy. Some therapists may be too feminist and militant in their views there by persuading clients. No therapist should persuade nor tell someone the “right” way to look at things. The therapist’s task is to offer support and information to challenge the client to examine for herself which road to take. Another criticism is the biased stance that feminists take. They are not neutral. They are all for a certain change in society and they should take caution not to be too pushy with their views on clients. It is also vital that clients take responsibility for actions and experiences and not just blame society. They can be aware of society’s impacts but they also need to fess up and not avoid taking personal responsibility. Another criticism is the fact that feminism originated and was developed by, middle class, white, heterosexual women. Other races and cultures were not involved. This has been brought to attention and feminists have become much more inclusive.

In summary, feminist therapy is beneficial and advantageous to today’s society. The human race will continue to evolve and new theories will also evolve to meet the needs of our unsustainable, plastic society. Feminist therapists will continue to break down the hierarchy of power by therapeutic approaches and interventions with the overall remaining goal as empowerment of the client and social positive change and transformation.

References
1.Walker, Lenore E.A. (1990). A Feminist Therapist Views the Case. In Dorthy W. Cantor (Ed.), Women as Therapists, (pp. 78-79). New York: Spring Publishing Company.
2.Hecklinger, Fred J. (2003). Training for Life: A Practical Guide to Career and Life Plotting. Dubuque, Iowa: Kendall Hunt Publishers. 
3.Bohan, Janis S. (1992). Replacing Women in Psychology: readings Toward a More Inclusive History, (pp. 88-99). Dubuque, Iowa: Kendall Hunt Publishers.
4.Swanson, Jane L. (1999). Career Theory and Practice: Learning Through Case Studies. Thousand oaks, CA: Sage Publications
5.Benjafield, John G., (1996). A History of Psychology, (pp.321), Needham Heights, Massachusetts: Allyn and Bacon
6.Corey, Gerald (2001). Theory and Practice of Counseling and Psychotherapy 6TH Edition, (pp. 341-375), Wadsworth: Brooks Cole, Thompson Learning.

The Handbook of Women, Psychology, and the Law by ANDREA BARNES (Hardcover – Jossey-Bass Inc Pub)

The Handbook of Women, Psychology, and the Law by ANDREA BARNES (Hardcover – Jossey-Bass Inc Pub) Price Comparison

The Handbook of Women, Psychology, and the Law

The Handbook of Women, Psychology, and the Law

The Handbook of Women, Psychology, and the Law is a groundbreaking book that presents legal and psychological perspectives on how society has responded to the most vital (and often controversial) contemporary women’s issues. The Handbook covers such vital topics as abortion, rape, domestic violence, sexual harassment, employment discrimination, divorce, poverty, welfare, and mental health. Written by experts in the fields of jurisprudence, clinical psychology, feminist psychology, ethics, an

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How to Get Any Women You Want – How the Bad Guy Gets Girl

How to Get Any Women You Want – How the Terrible Guy Gets Girl

I believe we men would all like to have a nice list and choice over gorgeous women who to go out with. Unfortunately I see every single day how guys mess up every chance they have with women, by doing incorrect things. If you don’t have super hot women in your life right now, then I have to tell you the truth – you might be one of these guys who are messing up.

And let me tell you, you can change the success you have with women dramatically by learning what women want and need. Not over night but step by step, you’ll be amazed over the results.

I used to be a guy like you, I did not know a thing about women psychology. I was able to get gorgeous women on the date, but later I lost every single girl by communicating the incorrect things.

Because of this I was never able to make long lasting relationships, because women saw me as a friend material, rather than a boyfriend. I was not the guy who gets girl. But this has changed for excellent.

There is two types of men for women.

1) The guy who thinks that he is not excellent enough for her. Because of this he is trying to compensate this by buying gifts, taking her to expensive restaurants, doing everything to please her, making her more vital than himself, trying to do everything not to assault her, agrees mostly on her opinions, and the list goes on. This guy never gets a hot girl into relationship unless hes a superstar or a multimillionaire. This is the guy who girls call when they mess up with the real men. This is the guy who is a provider, not a real men material.

2) The terrible guy who knows the game and is the real man- and gets the girl. This is the man that women run after. This is the guy who women call and dream about. This guy does not need to have much money, he does not need to look handsome, he does not buy her expensive gift etc.

As you can see, the second guy gets girl by because of his own personality, the other one has to buy gifts as a provider.

All this because the second one gives women what they need and really want – the real man in his personality. He does not need to give compliments to her, or please her. What he does is being a best men for himself, not for the ladies. This is the guy who gets girl.

The excellent news is, you can be the second type of man who women dream about, even If you have messed up with every single girl so far. You need to learn how to communicate this way to let women know that you are the “terrible” guy who gets girl.

I have taught hundreds of men how to get the girls of their dreams. I’ve seen stout small guys going from having no dates to having girls calling them all the time. This is how powerful are the methods what evoke women psychology.

I don’t know about your dating situation right now, If you are the natural guy who gets girl, or you are the one who want to improve your dating life into the guy who gets every girl. In both cases you need to boost your success with women. It is up to you to reach higher levels in your dating life and trough this influence overall life quality.

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In the twenty years since its publication, this book has become well-known for its groundbreaking demonstration of how sexual stereotypes restrict men’s and women’s psychological development. Toward a New Psychology of Women revolutionized concepts of strength and weakness, dependency and autonomy, emotion, success, and power.

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Women’s Psychological Sexual Arousal

Women’s Psychological Sexual Arousal

Men’s simple arousal leads to the misconception that sexual arousal relies purely on PHYSICAL stimulation. But anyone who is familiar with orgasm will know that physical stimulation (of the genitals) is only effective if there is accompanying PSYCHOLOGICAL arousal.

So although it is often implied that a woman can become sexually aroused during sex through physical stimulation, including clitoral stimulation, it is highly unlikely that such techniques will lead to female orgasm unless a woman is simultaneously aroused in her mind.

Few men would attempt to reach orgasm without stimulating their penis and yet many experts still claim that clitoral stimulation is not necessary for a woman to orgasm during sex. It is right that women do not tend to approach sex looking for genital stimulation but this is because they are not necessarily in a state of mental arousal where genital stimulation makes sense.

Since relatively few women masturbate, most women are unfamiliar with what orgasm feels like and how to achieve it. Instead of seeking genital stimulation from sex, many women prefer to limit their sexual experiences to vaginal intercourse, called ‘making like’.

After all the role of the clitoris (as the female sex organ) was identified not from women’s experience of sex but from their experience of masturbation. Where as men use EROTIC IMAGES during masturbation, women use EROTIC STORIES to achieve the psychological arousal needed for orgasm. So although female masturbation indicates that a woman needs clitoral stimulation to reach orgasm, it is only effective when combined with the use of sexual fantasies.

Men’s transition from masturbation to sex is relatively straightforward because they become aroused through an appreciation of their partner’s body, which is a natural substitute for images of naked women that they use for masturbation. Women do not tend to use images of naked men for masturbation.

Women use erotic tales during masturbation so why would they use some other mechanism during sex with a partner? It doesn’t make sense to assume that they can find a partner’s naked body arousing enough for orgasm during sex when they don’t use images of naked men during masturbation.

If women do not use fantasy during sex, then how else do they become psychologically aroused? I have spent over 10 years talking to women about sex and some admit that they use sexual fantasies to achieve orgasm with a partner. No one has come up with any other convincing alternatives as yet.

I have tried to use my sexual fantasies during sex with a partner but I have not been able to achieve the focus required. Apparently some women’s fantasies are of a complex nature that makes them unsuitable for use with a partner.

All too often women’s sexual arousal is shrouded in mystery. Even today it is popularly suggested that female orgasm just happens ‘naturally’ or with the help of a loving partner. If men need to use eroticism for arousal and genital stimulation for orgasm then it is highly likely that women might need to use similar techniques if they are to experience orgasm.

In similar fashion, people continue to believe that women can hope to reach orgasm with a partner when they have never masturbated. Even though men learn how their sexual arousal works through masturbation the implication is that women can orgasm without the benefit of the same learning process.

The implication of these assumptions is that women would have to be MORE sexual than men if they are assumed to be able to orgasm without the arousal techniques and learning processes that men typically use.

we all know what abused women go through psychological, what about the men as an abuser?

Question by Rosie: we all know what abused women go through psychological, what about the men as an abuser?
what type of psychological issues are they going through

i’m talking about psychological, verbal, emotional abuse, what goes through the mind of the ABUSER, and how do they choose that specific person to abuse, and when they claim to “like” that person is it “right in the abusers mind”

side note: is it right that “abusers” know who to pry on they sense a person’s venerability, or would an abuser be able to pry on someone who has high self-esteem and self-respect

Best answer:

Answer by btly90
they have huge problems on something. they know the woman won’t fight back, so they pick on them. They usually have either a deep psychological problem, or they just want something to beat on. usually something that happened in childhood. they grow up okay, then they go mad.

Add your own answer in the comments!

Hair Loss in Women

Hair Loss in Women

Losing hair is usually a huge problem for women. This is because the quantity and quality of hair is considered an vital determinant of women’s beauty. Therefore, hair loss in women is nearly always associated with loss of self-esteem and confidence.

Hair Loss in Women: Psychological Effects
The psychological effects of hair loss in women are quite prominent. Even the beginning of hair loss in women is marked with tension and worry. The reason being the society does not accept women with small or no hair. The fact that hair is considered a determinant of women’s beauty only makes it harder.

The Pattern of Hair Loss in Women
The problem of hair loss in women is usually cyclic. It is mostly affected by medical conditions and hormonal changes. The pace of hair loss in women is also relatively slow. But, the rate of hair loss usually accelerates during pregnancy and menopause. Women usually resort to hiding their thinned hair with creative styling techniques.

Diffuse is the most common pattern of hair loss observed in women. If it is caused by medical conditions, diagnosis of the root cause is essential. Proper diagnosis is the only route to the reversal of the process.

Hair Loss in Women: Common Causes
Here are the most common causes of hair loss in women:

* Alopecia Areata: It is a recurrent condition that results in patchy loss of hair.
* Traction Alopecia: Excessive perming and tight braiding causes permanent hurt to hair    follicles, resulting in hair loss.
* Chemicals: Chemicals present in hair styling products can permanently hurt hair.
* Androgenetic alopecia: This hereditary problem causes the development of a pattern of diffuse hair slimming over the central scalp.
* Hypothyroidism: Deficiency of the thyroid hormone results in thinning or loss of hair.
* Pregnancy: Stress and hormonal changes result in temporary hair loss.

Hair Loss in Women: Surgical Treatment
The use of surgical techniques like Follicular Unit Hair Transplantation helps in restoring natural hair in women. But, precise diagnosis and verification of adequate donor hair supply is a must before deciding on surgery. The surgeon must also be adept in performing the surgery on women, since surgical approaches are different for both men and women.

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Causes of Low Libido or Diminished Sex Desire in Women

Causes of Low Libido or Diminished Sex Desire in Women

A women’s desire for sex is depended on many factors vary from physical to psychological which also of consists relationship issues, financial problems etc. Low libido means lack of significance in sexual activities.

Physical causes

Anemia is a disorder in women which results from malnutrition or loss of periods or loss of iron in blood may also cause for low level sex drive in women. The transforming periods in women life cycle from pre-menopause stage to post partum can cause hormone imbalance which may lead to low libido in women.

Sexual problems

Sexual problems like Dysparenuia and Endometriosis are the conditions that would normally experienced by women during the intercourse with her partner which would result in pain.

Dysparenuia is a unusual pain when penis of her partner penetrate into her vagina because of lack of estrogen and other reasons etc.

Medical diseases like obesity, hypothyroidism and diabetes would affect the sex drive in women.

Medications like tranquilizers, hormonal contraception’s, antipsychotics, etc is also the reason for low diminished sex desire in women.

Alcoholism and drugs usage in women are the common causes for low sex drive.

Fatigue

Fatigue would be caused for several reasons. Unhealthy diets, environmental pollution and heavy usage of drugs for recreational purposes can be named as some of the reasons for fatigue which may result in low sex drive in women.

Psychological causes

Stress – Stress is most common reason for low sex drive in women whether it is due to financial stress or physical stress etc. which would affect functioning of ad reline glands which is very vital to generate sex drive whether in men or women.

Depression – Depression is also most common psychological factor to low sex drive. It affects every aspect of life including relationships.

Anxiety and Low self-esteem are the other causes for low sex drive in women.

Hormonal changes

Menopause – Estrogen is the hormone that sustains the interest in sex; this hormone would fall in menopause alteration stage which leads to uncomfortable sex. During same stage testosterone hormone also reduces which helps to enhance interest in sex.

Pregnancy and breast-feeding: After pregnancy and breast feeding, women lose interest in sex for several factors like fatigue, taking care of child etc and also due to hormonal changes that takes place during pregnancy.

Other factors that will affect women’s desire for sex

1. Frustration/conflicts with partner. 2. Lack of trustworthiness.
3. Climate and geographical conditions.
4. Age
5. Family and financial problems.
6. Deprived connection and communication of sexual requirements and priorities.
7. Sexual attraction etc.

How to Be Successful With the Ladies! Tips to Persuasively Master a Woman’s Emotional Psychology!

How to Be Successful With the Ladies! Tips to Persuasively Master a Woman’s Emotional Psychology!

Women are known to be emotional, but did you know that if you cannot master her emotions, that you will always be rejected by women?

You see, the psychology of a woman works so that her feelings prompt her to take action, and this action will either be in your favor, or against you, depending on what you know.

Read on to find out how you can master a woman’s emotions and insecurities….

Her insecurities WILL determine how she feels about you

Anytime you can make a woman insecure, you can psychologically trigger an emotional response from her.

Women are emotionally driven in attraction anyways, which means you SHOULD NOT be worried to make her insecure, but you need to learn the places where it’s ok to make her insecure.

How does she feel about things?

Taking a close look at a woman’s emotions, you will find out that she has a feeling for absolutely anything you can reckon of, and before she would apply logic to it, she would apply EMOTION.

For instance:

Psychologically speaking, any time a woman cries she is insecure about something. If she cries because someone has died in a sad like movie, then she is insecure about loss, and about the loss of a loved one.

If she gets mad over what other people reckon, then she is insecure about herself and is seeking the approval of others, since she wants them to like her.

From this, you can see that how a woman feels about something determines how she will act on this, and not only this, but any emotion which can trigger her insecurities nearly immediately has a reaction.

Using her feelings and insecurities to trigger the RIGHT emotions and attraction

Thus, you can see that a woman’s insecurities can pretty much run her life in helping her choose what she will or won’t do, and this also applies to attraction and dating. Thus, you need to learn how to play with these insecurities so that they work in your favor and make her desire you.

An simple way to make her desire you while using her insecurities in your favor is to get playful with her. This is like flirting, but not quite the same, because you are not just handing the compliments to her, and here is a fantastic example:

“That is a really cute top, but it’s too terrible that I always see girls wearing it. Is it on sale, or what’s the deal here? Don’t you have anything original about yourself?”

This will instantly make her feel as if she is below your standards, and will trigger her to feel the need to prove herself to you, by seeking your approval.

Now listen carefully-

What you are about to learn something most men will never know when it comes to attracting women. This is one thing which is an absolute must know for every man out there. You are about to learn an ultimate secret weapon which will make women chase you around like crazy Even If You Are Bald, Stout Or Hideous!…..Trust me….You don’t want to miss this one. I strongly urge you to read everything on the next page because it might be the most vital message you ever read- Click Here

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Why do I enjoy being the “other woman”?

Question by Lorena: Why do I delight in being the “other woman”?
Disclaimer: I’m not looking for sympathy or for anyone to preach to me, so please don’t do so.

I’ve been reflecting for a while now and I can’t come up for an answer as to why I do this. I’d like to know what the psychology is behind it.

On the surface my dad has always been a excellent father and husband. But there’s always been terrible days when my dad would just disappear for the night, answering no phone calls and my mom would get my sister and I in the car and go from bar to bar looking for him (I was always amazed at how she used to piece clues together and ALWAYS find him.) It stopped for a while and about two or three years ago we started catching him from time to time with a certain woman. He was always drunk when he did so, and it’s still a really painful subject for me. Two of those times were really hard and dramatic for me and it causes my entire family a load of pain.

All of a sudden, I just choose that I don’t care if a man I’m interested in is married or not. This started around the age of 18. When I reckon about the married men I’ve been involved with, I don’t reckon I would have been interested (or *as* interested) if they were single. I’ve had normal boyfriends, as well. But have cheated on all of them. I’m very closed off when it comes to feelings and I don’t reckon I’ve ever cried over a man.

Also, I forgot to add that all of these men are older than me. I’m 20 and these men have always been in their late 20′s to early 30′s. I’ve been attracted to older men than that, though.

Right now I’m “involved” with two married men. We’re constantly either texting, emailing, talking by phone or seeing each other. I know it’s sick, but I like the fact that they have a wife at home.

I pity wives and I don’t ever want to be one. I know most men participate in affairs, whether they be long term or not, and I don’t trust them whatsoever. I just like the thought of being that breath of fresh air that they like so much. And no, I don’t mean “like” as in emotionally. I mean, I know these men have some sort of appreciation towards me but I don’t expect them to leave their wives and marry me, neither do I want them to. I like how they’ll drop everything at work to come see me, how they’ll spoil me because they want to keep me by their side.

I know I sound ignorant and immature. Two things I don’t consider myself to be in general, but when it comes to this I don’t know why I work like this. Why do I do this? I know how painful it is for the family of a man who cheats, so why do I want to intentionally hurt perfect strangers?

Thanks in advance guys..

Best answer:

Answer by QuiteNewHere
One word clarifies it all.

Revenge
or
Payback

Add your own answer in the comments!

At what age do you start calling a female a “woman” or a male a “man”?

Question by .Q-Tip (‘s back-up account!): At what age do you start calling a female a “woman” or a male a “man”?
Like if you are talking about someone, at what age do you start saying “This woman came up to me…” instead of “This girl came up to me…”

At what age, if you’re writing for the news, was the crime commited by a “man” instead of a “boy”? When was it commited by a “woman” instead of a “girl”?

I’m not sure if this q pertains to anthropology or psychology or whatevs.

Best answer:

Answer by tryandgetoutalive
I use those terms based upon maturity and experience, not age.

Add your own answer in the comments!

Q&A: What’s the synopsis of “Pretty Woman?”?

Question by dmt479: What’s the synopsis of “Pretty Woman?”?
I will be watching “Pretty Woman” and writing a paper on the movie for my psychology class. But, I don’t remember the synopsis.

PLEASE WRITE THE SYNOPSIS IN YOUR OWN WORDS! Diction, grammar, etc, counts!

**BEST ANSWER GETS 10 POINTS!**

Best answer:

Answer by beatle1909
pleased go lucky protitute finds right like with handsome multi millionaire, and lives happily ever after.

Add your own answer in the comments!

Short Storty- Psychology of a Woman

Small Storty- Psychology of a Woman

Psychology of a Woman

I was a daily visitor to her and that too in the evening. I used to spend two three hours with her. We had been talking on different subjects. We both were married and were having families, but on this station we were working in one department and in different sections. I was living in a rented house and she was also living in a rented house at a different place at least at a distance of one km from my room. Some time she served me with dinner and as such I used to come back late in the night.

On one occasion we both were sitting on one bed under one blanket. We were talking. She started a tale. She was traveling from Amritsar to Chandigarh. She had got some work at Chandigarh. The man sitting by her side took interest in her and started talking to her. Both got intimacy and on the next bus stop he went down and brought some oranges. He started peeling those oranges one by one and was offering some pieces to her too. On one of the bus stop he brought two cold drinks and offered one to her too. He continued talking on different subjects and she noticed that at time he could touch her fingers too. He was sitting very close and started leaving more place for the third passenger.

On reaching Chandigarh, he immediately hired an auto and took her to the head office. He remained standing outside and when she came back he took her to a hotel where he served her a very excellent lunch. Only then he parted with and while going for his own work, he enquired from her all about the office at Amritsar so that he could contact her.

She narrated this tale and was having an eye on me too. In the end she place a question to me,

“That fellow spent so much time and money on me. What is attractive in me. I am not so gorgeous that could attract a man.”

I had a look on her and instead of praising something gorgeous in her, I answered,

“Men are fools. They can follow a women in spite of all her ugliness. There is nothing in you which could attract a man. You are a married women. You cannot spare time for such men. You have got your own burdens. This type of merrymaking is possible only for those who are without a man and could spare time for such men having interest in women. You are a respectful women having a husband who likes you. In spite of all this and in spite of the fact that he had collected all information from you, he remained with you for hours and had been trying to have more contacts from your side.”

I thought that she was not listening to me. She wanted some praise from my side and she also excepted that I would be appreciating her and then shall be coming more near to her, She wanted something more from me in this lonely atmosphere.

When she could not get all this, she said,

“It is too late. It is better you should go back to your room.” I got up and started for my room. In the way I realized my mistake, but it was too late.

___________

More Psychology Of A Woman Articles

How Does Women’s Psychological Arousal Work During Sex With a Partner?

How Does Women’s Psychological Arousal Work During Sex With a Partner?

The huge hole in all the explanations is: how do women become psychologically aroused enough to experience orgasm with a partner? It’s straightforward during female masturbation because a woman can focus fully on fantasy.

It is likely to be much more hard for a woman to generate the same conditions during sex with a partner. This has nothing to do with inhibition, personal embarrassment or the desire to place a man’s needs first. It’s like deep meditation – it takes fantastic focus and concentration to fantasies effectively.

After decades of trying different techniques with a partner I have not been able to replicate the exact same sensations of orgasm that I get from masturbation. I do get some really nice physical feelings from anal stimulation and sometimes from vaginal fisting but these orgasms are different from those I get by using fantasy.

I am willing to go through the personal embarrassment of revealing the exact nature of my sexual experiences in the hope that other women might be encouraged to come forward and do the same. Of course, the worry is that I have no way of knowing that my sexual responses are normal.

But what exactly is normal? For example, I might describe to you the pleasure I get from Mathematics: the subject I studied at university. It’s likely that my knowledge and understanding of Mathematics exceeds that of the average person in the population. This does not make my experience abnormal any more than it makes other people’s experiences abnormal. We can all have normal responses and still be different to each other.

Likewise my sexual experiences are likely to be different to other women. I read erotic novels as a teenager, learned masturbation to orgasm at the age of seventeen and then spent decades trying a variety of techniques during regular sex with a partner. How many women place this much effort and enthusiasm into their sexual experiences?

My motivation to pursue this topic has been driven by the unreasonably defensive response I have had from others. I have questioned legitimate and logical questions by being really honest about my sexual experiences. In return, I have been patronized and given emotional answers by people who have never volunteered to support their opinions with their own personal experiences.

I am a perfectly normal woman with normal sexual responses. Yet the implication is that there is something lacking in my sexual experiences. This just is not the case. I want to place the record straight for future generations of women. It is not right that couples continue to be misled by what is currently published about female sexuality.

In case you missed it, this is the political rally…It is time that women were honest about what they want and what they like. We owe it to our daughters. We don’t have to be like men. It is not our job to impregnate. It is our job to have the babies and keep the men interested. We don’t have to lie.

It’s really vital that women stand up for what they want. We can pleasure men and give them what they want and still retain our self respect. Women need to tell men that we want different things in return for sex. Companionship. Mutual respect. Mutual support. Orgasm would be fantastic but, if not, then more selfless and sensual pleasuring where they place their own orgasm to one side.

Jane Thomas: Author http://www.WaysWomenOrgasm.org and http://www.Nosper.com

3 Day Challenge: Women often tell white lies because they are worried to just tell the truth on what they want. How often do you do activities you don’t want to do because you can’t say no? How often to you tell “white lies” to avoid an event or invite from a friend? Just stop already! For the next three days, write down and comment here each time you find yourself telling a white lie or when you are able to get over that dread and just say what you want. I reckon you will be suprised by how much you are not doing and saying what you really want in your daily life. Breaking this habit will no doubt help your self esteem!

Women’s Psychology by Susan Williams (Paperback – Red Letter Pr)

Women’s Psychology by Susan Williams (Paperback – Red Letter Pr) Top Offers

Women: Do men wearing ties intimidate you a bit or make you feel uncomfortable? Do you play with his tie?

Question by John S.: Women: Do men wearing ties intimidate you a bit or make you feel uncomfortable? Do you play with his tie?
Some women don’t like interfacing with a man in a casual setting if he is wearing a tie because they may perceive he is uncomfortable or too formal. Other women prefer it because it shows respect, distinction, or class.

Some women will reach out and touch a man’s tie to examine the pattern and make a nice compliment, “This is a fantastic tie!”. Others will go even further and try to make the man take the tie off (she wants to start undressing him, right?)

Ties are thought by some to be in truth, phallic, and a quintessential male symbol. So what does all this “tie psychology” say about women and what they are thinking based on their orientation and preferences for men to wear ties or not?
From personal experience, it has happened to me more than once where the woman I was talking to (social, not business) kept looking at my tie and finally insisted I take it off because they felt it was too formal for one-on-one conversation. This was in her home, though, so she was trying to make me (and her) feel more relaxed although I was perfectly comfortable wearing a nice tie as I did for business every day. It just seemed weird to me that my wearing a tie bugged her somehow such that she insisted I take it off. Other women will do this too and I’m not sure why.

Best answer:

Answer by happinomad
John,
They are so not intimidated by ties… a matter of fact most women use them like dog leashes for us one time or another… woof.

What do you reckon? Answer below!

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Issues in the Psychology of Women

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We all know what abused women go through psychological, what about the men as an abuser?

Question by Rosie: We all know what abused women go through psychological, what about the men as an abuser?
what type of psychological issues are they going through

i’m talking about psychological, verbal, emotional abuse, what goes through the mind of the ABUSER, and how do they choose that specific person to abuse, and when they claim to “like” that person is it “right in the abusers mind”

side note: is it right that “abusers” know who to pry on they sense a person’s venerability, or would an abuser be able to pry on someone who has high self-esteem and self-respect

Best answer:

Answer by Milktoast
What about the equal number of men as the abused?

http://www.csulb.edu/~mfiebert/assault.htm

Add your own answer in the comments!

Why are there so many women who waste thousands of dollars getting a bachelor’s degree in “psychology” ?

Question by Healthy Environment: Why are there so many women who waste thousands of dollars getting a bachelor’s degree in “psychology” ?
Countless times, I hear tales about women who get a worthless bachelor degree in psychology….
which will make them completely qualified to run a McDonald’s coffee shop.

and every time I hear this tale……….it’s ALWAYS a woman! Never a man.

Why is this so common?

Do you know anyone personally who fits this description?

Best answer:

Answer by [O]peration [I]raqi [L]iberation
If you get a master’s degree you can do lots of things. You can teach it, or you can become a psychotherapist. I guess psychology attracts women.

What do you reckon? Answer below!

For people who believe that homosexuality is a choice, can you dissprove this information?

According to science, it is a not a choice. Scientists learned that women tend to have more children when they inherit the same genetic factors which is linked to homosexuality in men. This fertility boost more than compensates for the lack of offspring fathered by gay men, and continues the “gay” genetic factors in circulation. Gay men have three clustered chromosomes: 7, 8, and 10, which determine the sexual orientation. Being homosexual is inherited in the genes, and is neither a disease nor a sickness.

“Genetic investigations provide strong evidence for a heritable component to male and female sexual orientation,” Rahman Q et. al.; School of Psychology, University of East London

“The survival of a human predisposition for homosexuality can be clarified by sexual orientation being a polygenetic trait that is influenced by a number of genes,” Miller EM.; University of New Orleans.

There was a study done on the chemical balances in the brains of 90 individuals. Some were homosexual, some were heterosexual, some were bisexual. It was determined that the chemical balance in a gay males brain were very similar to a straight females brain. Same goes for a lesbians to a straight males. Depending on which gender the bisexual preferred more, determined what his brain’s chemicals were more simlar to.

These chemicals balances are caused by genes. Other than the specified chromosomes, Junk DNA is also believed to cause homosexality. We only know of 5% of what the human genome does. 95% of the human genome is labeled as Junk DNA ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Junk_DNA ).

Can the people who use their “book of faith” argue with scientific fact, logically?
@ Bfract: I pity your poor knowledge.
@ WisdomFreedom: It’s not in the incorrect section. I meant to place it hear because it’s only the people in this section that are against it and believe it’s a choice. And you are born with your sexual orientation. Idiot.

If you had a sexist male teacher, what topic was he teaching? what did he do? what did you do about it?

A few people said they’d run into a sexist woman teaching a women’s studies course so I was wondering how many people run into sexist men who teach any topic…personally I was sexually harassed by one of my psychology college instructors who threatened my grade if I didn’t sleep with him. I told him I’d discuss the matter with his boss if my grade wasn’t exactly what it should be. On the other hand my women’s studies teacher was very professional and respectful to both male and female students. What’s your experience been with sexist teachers?
Thank you for the intelligent responses. As this is a question and answer forum-I doubt it is going to work to tell a questioner to “shut up” lol…thanks for sharing with your sophisticated grasp of logic and reasoning.

If rape is about power…?

I am very interested in criminal psychology. I just started getting into it but some things still seem a small hazy to me.

If rape is mainly about power over someone, why don’t (male) rapists target men? If its not about the sex, it should not matter if the victim is male or female (to the rapist.) I know that men are raped and just don’t report it as much, but it seems that there still is a larger percentage of women who become victims of rape. Could the fact that normally physically and emotionally women are considered weaker?

Does this theory make sense? Maybe someone with a small more knowledge on the subject could help?

When to say no and entering the “Friend Zone”?

When you offer to help a woman out in any way shape or form and she says “No, you don’t have to do that for me” are you supposed to do it every time anyways? Is it a reverse psychology game or something? And then when I says its ok, I will do it anyways, sometimes women place up a fight and others times they just let it go. Does it depend on what it is? Or if you give in all the time, are you seen as weak whipping boy? When does a man say “no” and know that there are no consquences or loss of points….

The other thing I notice is my female friends usually tell me that I deserve someone or whomever I end up marrying I am going to make very pleased. Ok. Point taken. So if I am so wonderful, why have I been single for the last 8 years or even better dated two women in the last 3 to 4 years. I often hear thoes same friends tell me that I make a fantastic friend but they could never date me. Well that sure doesn’t make any sense.

Questions about eating disorders?

Questions about eating disorders?
The condition eating disorders is most commonly found in white adolescent females, from middle to upper middle class families, although males in early adolescence make up about 10 percent of the cases. For unknown reasons, anorexia is very rare in black women. Why is it rarely found in black women, Im not racist just wondering? Resource, psychology third edition principles and applications by stephen worchel, wayne shebilske

Why do people get so defensive with the topic of sexuality? Why do they get ANGRY when it is documented that..?

PLEASE read my whole post before responding. I know it is long but this is a delicate topic that requires a lot of evidence to prevent an instantly negative, “Knee-Jerk” reaction to a topic not at all designed to elicit a negative emotional response. PLEASE read my post BEFORE you respond.

Why do people get so defensive with the topic of sexuality? Why do they get ANGRY when it is documented that there are 2 kinds of homosexuality:

1. Genetic, biological homosexuality caused by genetic factors that are passed down from one generation to the next that are also seen in nearly all forms of animal, including human.

2. “Lab Made” homosexuals that may or may not have been born genetically homosexual originally but were severely sexually and/or physically abused which has lead to gender confusion as a result of how the trauma permanently altered how their brains were hardwired in response to trauma, and can suffer from a number of mental illnesses such as histrionic personality disorder which is characterized by gender confusion, bisexuality, hyper-sexuality, and sexual orientation confusion as the result of severe, and I mean SEVERE abuse and trauma as young children.

Histrionic personality disorder

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder

Thread Topic: Sexual Orientation Confusion – Histrionic

http://www.4degreez.com/disorder/forum/histrionic-personality/76-sexual-orientation-confusion-histrionic/thread.html

I know why trauma survivors that now identify as homosexual get defensive about the topic, speaking openly about their own trauma is like picking a scab and if they admit that their trauma had that much of an impact on their adult lives, it could ruin them.

But for the homosexual community in general to be so openly hostile to the thought that a percentage of people that have artificially, through trauma, had their brains hardwired in patterns that have caused them to orient as bisexual or homosexual as adults is beyond my understanding.

Functional MRI studies have shown that without trauma, men are not mentally and psychologically hardwired to have a fluid sexuality (like women are) that allows them to orient as bisexuals. Without trauma, an overwhelming majority of men orient as either “Heterosexual” or “Homosexual”.

This is NOT a homophobic statement, this is nothing but the results of years of study on sex and sexuality.

While a woman that orients as heterosexual can still be sexually aroused by women as a natural part of how her brain is hardwired, a fully heterosexual male that is exposed to homosexual images responds with an instinctual disgust response and it simultaneously stimulates an rage responses… As in it sees the homosexual images as a threat.

I’m a queer/fetishistic/asexual female and I know that in my family, homosexuality in women is a common thing but also that I experienced rather severe physical, mental, and emotional trauma in my early life (No sexual abuse, thank goodness!) so I can’t rightly say one way or another if I inherited my interest in women from my father’s side of the family, where there are a statistically HUGE number of lesbians, or if I am the way I am as the result of the abuse I suffered at the hands of my mentally ill mother. I do believe that my fetishist tendencies are the result of the trauma I sustained.

When I started to study psychology, I didn’t respond in ANGER when I started to realize how the brain is hardwired as it develops in the first 10 but, specifically, the first 6 years of life and I can’t comprehend why the Homosexual Community responds nearly to the point of violence when it is suggested that though a majority are “Born” gay, as in the way that chimps, ducks, killer whales, fruit flies, seagulls, etc. are born homosexual and the DOCUMENTED PATHOLOGY of gender confusion as the result of trauma.

Wouldn’t it be much more healthy for the community as a whole, but specifically the survivors of horrible sexual, physical, mental, verbal, and emotional trauma to come to terms that what they went through had a permanent effect on making them who and what they are and to seek therapy to help overcome the OTHER problems that come along with their NOW PERMANENT sexual orientation such as substance abuse, depression, being unable to hold stable and satisfying relationships without needing to introduce large amounts of chaos, etc. etc. etc.?

I’m male but have the mind of a girl?

I’m a guy and I’ve always been told I reckon and act like a girl.

I don’t talk like a girl, wear women’s clothing, or reckon that I should be a girl (i.e. I’m not transgendered or flamboyantly gay).

I’m not interested in sex as much as other guys. I like to have close friendships with people and to give and receive hugs. I read through a psychology book about differences between male and female minds, and all of the female traits applied to me. I tend to be sensitive and emotional as well.

I am gay, I don’t know if that has anything to do with it though.

I repeat, I am content with being a guy. I am not transgendered.

Does anyone know what this could mean?

Do You See What I See?: the Link Identifying Women, Beauty, and Body Image

What image do you see whenever you look at yourself in the mirror?

Do you see a gorgeous, self-possessed, and confident woman keen to live life and ever-ready to face whatever challenge life has to offer? Or do you see an unattractive female full of self-doubt and so conspicuously flawed that she could hardly stand the sight of her horrid reflection?

Since time immemorial, the connotative reference of beauty to women and vice-versa has ingrained the universal thought implying the need for women to become physically appealing creatures. In effect, it could not be helped that majority of women have an inherent tendency to become partially but frequently preoccupied with issues concerning their physical appearance. Our body image—how we see ourselves physically—performs an integral part in how we interact and present ourselves to the world at large. It determines our level of self-esteem which in turn affects the manner and extent of our performance in our daily functions and social interactions.

Analyzing the reflections we see in our minds

The body image we have of ourselves has small to do with the actual quality or state of our physical features. Even a woman possessed with drop-dead gorgeous looks can have a poor body image if she sees herself as unattractive every time she faces the mirror. This is clarified by the primary factors determining body image: our thoughts and feelings about ourselves based on our physical appearances.

Having a poor body image impacts our way of life. As in most cases, women these days are driven to undergo rigorous exercises, fad diets, and various cosmetic surgeries in pursuit of physical beauty. The non-verbally imposed standards of beauty prevalently determined by a variety of current social and commercial factors made well loved through media have led women to assess their appearances in accordance to them. As a result, nearly half of the entire female population in modern societies these days either overestimate their body size or underestimate their physical attractiveness; worse, they could be controlled by both self-deprecating perceptions. As such, allowing these thoughts to take hold and sink in could make us feel depressed and nervous to the point of coming down with psychological illnesses requiring antidepressant and anti-anxiety medications.

Seeing our right reflections

With the powerful influence of media, detaching ourselves from these controlling notions surrounding “ideal beauty” can be hard. But since our minds are ours to control, we are still in full possession of every right and power to dictate the manner in which we see ourselves. Focusing on the wonderful things our bodies are capable of is particularly helpful. Moreover, bearing in mind that our physicality only takes up a small fraction of our entirety keeps us grounded on the truth that our personalities and minds make up more than half of who we truly are. Determining beauty would always be reliant on the personal opinion and assessment of the one looking at us. And the most vital person whose opinion and assessment of our beauty would figure greatly more than anyone else’s is none other than ourselves. In the end, seeing and accepting ourselves as the gorgeous women we truly are, are our most commendable features that really deserve far more than just a passing glance.

I’m a guy with the mind of a girl?

I’m a guy and I’ve always been told I reckon and act like a girl.

I don’t talk like a girl, wear women’s clothing, or reckon that I should be a girl (i.e. I’m not transgendered or flamboyantly gay).

I’m not interested in sex as much as other guys. I like to have close friendships with people and to give and receive hugs. I read through a psychology book about differences between male and female minds, and all of the female traits applied to me. I tend to be sensitive and emotional as well.

I am gay, I don’t know if that has anything to do with it though.

I repeat, I am content with being a guy. I am not transgendered.

Does anyone know what this could mean?

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