History of Marriage

Look to the past When we start to look at marriage in the Victorian era and compare it to modern marriage we cannot eliminate all the time in between. Through time marriage and the role of women in marriage has evolved. We will start to examine the reasons for marriage, marriage and divorce, and of course attitudes toward women. We will be able to better know how things have progressed and in some ways how things have not changed at all. We will start first with talking about why Victorian Women married. victoria

Why Victorian women Married
There are several factors that contributed to women during the Victorian age to marry. Many of these results were a result of lack of choice. First off we need to deal with education to know why women married. Women were left uneducated in many areas of life. They had no control over their education and were taught about domestic duties only. Starting at a young age they were taught that a woman should get married and have children. They were born raised and educated to become wives and nothing else. They often spent their time with time consuming devices to hide the fact that she had a lot of free time on her hands. A woman was not expected to work unless she was in the lower class and had no choice and therefore often had plenty of time to look pretty. Women who were not in the work force were therefore seen as a hugher class than working class women. .

Social and Economic pressure
queen family As a result of lack of education women were expected to marry in order to find someone to support them since they did not have the knowledge to do many jobs This leads us into the social and financial pressures that resulted in women getting married. Women were often married because girls parents would often search for a man who would be wealthy have a title and could advance their social status. According to califia.org Marriages of daughters were used to secure business deals, increase wealth, raise status etc. It was as if women were being dealt with as objects that could be bought and sold at a whim. They did not want to risk being shunned from their families by not marrying someone in a higher class. If a woman were to get engaged and break it off she would risk living the rest of her life as a spinsters. This was the ultimate way to lose social position. girl

Change from Victorian to modern
The progression from Victorian marriage to modern marriage was a slow process. In the 1960’s the sexual revolution was a time when women started to exert their power and freedoms more publicly. At this point in history women were beginning to marry for happiness and not as a result of coercion. When we start to look at the typical marriage from the 1960’s and 1970’s we reckon of families such as the Brady Bunch. In actuality marriages were not that picture perfect. Women started to work more and more outside of the home and during war time were questioned to take on more of the jobs that their husbands had left behind when they went away to war. Women started the battle to start to earn as much as men although this is a battle that still continues today.

Laws that helped women
Beginning in the 1840’s a series of laws were passed that started to allow women in marriage to have a bit more control. With the passage in 1839 of the Infants and Child Custody Act women were allowed take custody of their children under the age of seven if divorced or separated. They could not take custody if they had been found to be adulterous. Before this law the father was immediately awarded custody and it did not depend on the reasons for divorce. In 1857 secular divorce was established in England through the Matrimonial Causes Act/Divorce act. This allowed for the court to order payments to a divorced or estranged wife. The wife could inherit property, be sued and protect her wages from a husband who deserted her. She still could not get a divorce based only on her husband being an adulterer but a man could still divorce his wife solely for adultery. A woman had to prove that her husband had been cruel, deserted her or prove that incest had been committed obtain a divorce. As we go forward to 1870 the Married Women’s Property Act allowed for women to keep their earnings and even inherit personal property and money. Everything else still belonged to her husband if she had bought it before or after marriage. In 1883 the Custody Acts allowed for women to be awarded custody of children up to the age of 16. Slowly but surely women are gaining control over themselves, their children and their possessions. In 1882 a woman could finally keep all personal and real property that she had gotten before and during her marriage.

Romanticized visions of marriage
From the age they were small women were expected to be these perfect dolls if we want to place it bluntly. They grew up with these aspirations that they would grow up to marry this perfect man that would be everything they ever dreamed about. Men marrying at that time still seemed to have those romanticized dreams. Once married women would feel disappointed that they did not have this perfect relationship and delve into becoming the ideal mother and wife. They worked to become what they had been taught by society was their job. Husbands went off to work and expected their wives to do all the things their mothers had done for them. Cook, clean take care of the kids and always look like a doll all at the same time. Divorce in the Victorian Period Divorce in the Victorian period was forbidden. It was alright to become separated from your husband but divorce was out of the question. A woman was expected to live separated from her husband for the rest of her life and not married. If a couple was to divorce as a result of her having no rights she gets nothing. She was not allowed to keep her children or retain any of her property. She was allowed to keep things such as her makeup and clothing and nothing more. Divorce for her meant a life of solitude. She was not allowed to sue for alimony or any of the property they had bought together. With no skills due to being uneducated she often had to find a job anywhere she could just to make ends meet.

Divorce in the Modern Age
Divorce unlike during the Victorian period is a lot more acceptable. It is rare these days to find a family that has not been transformed by divorce. Even throughout the 90’s the thought of divorce has changed. Before it was not seen as so acceptable but it has become just the way things are. More than 50% of divorces these days will end in marriage. Now when a couple gets a divorce a woman is more likely to get the custody of her children than the man. The courts are very hesitant to take a child away from its mother unless in extenuating circumstances. Divorce is now seen as a way to get out of marriage as a result of any type of unhappiness. Couples are less likely to stick it out than they used to be. For a woman divorce is hard but it is much simpler than it used to be. She will not be shunned and can remarry afterwards. Society does not play as huge a role in divorce as it used to be.

Modern marriage
modern couple Women these days have a lot more control in their marriage than they used to. A woman is free to marry who she wants for the most part. She can choose to be married as well as have a career. If a women Is unable to have kids there are many options that would help her get pregnant. Even choosing not to have kids is not looked down upon as it used to be. It is astounding how things have progressed from an era where the man had so much control of his household to a period where the couple works together to make decisions. Society does not have as much control in the lives of married couples as it had in the past. People have choices and society is usually accepting of these choices. Religion still plays a role in marriage by dictating that a woman should obey her husband but also the husband shall respect his wife. Women are not seen solely as childbearers. They are now free to take on any profession that a man can. They are becoming highly educated and therefore seen as more respectable.

Why women marry now
Women in modern times marry for very different reasons than the women in the Victorian period. Women seem to marry now for like and physical attraction. It appears women in Victorian period had to fall in like with men that their parents picked or they picked out for financial or social reasons. A woman these days does not have to marry at a very young age. On the contrary if a woman now married at fifteen she would be seen as odd. It is obvious that the institution of marriage will continue to change and evolve. The world is vastly different than it was during the Victorian period and therefore marriage is not the same. Religion as well as society do not play as large a role in dictating marriage. Women have more choices in their life than before. They control that was not available in the past. Women are more equal partners in marriage than in the past.
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